Oh the suspense

Last night when Glenn and I arrived at the hospital, Riley no longer had his feeding tube in. Man he's a gorgeous boy with no tube up his nose!!

Today when I got to the hospital, I was greeted with



In case you CAN'T tell, (I'm not sure why you wouldn't as they aren't identical:) ), this is Gavin with no tube either. Nurse "yanked it" this morning - her words not mine!

He had passed his car seat test, but looked so peaceful sleeping the nurse left him. Two hours she left him there and not one beep from his machine. Now he has no attachments at all. No feeding tube or monitoring!

After lunch it was Riley's turn



Who also passed with flying colors. He no longer is attached to anything either.
Once again I asked the nurse about bringing them home. She suggested that I/we (read - me), "room in" with them so that they (the nurses) are guaranteed that I will get up in the night. I told her that I had no problem with that, but if they weren't going to be released until next week, then I would do it then. She then said she would try and see if they could be released tomorrow, but had to talk to the doctor.

I had planned on waiting to talk to the doctor myself, but it started to snow once again and Glenn phoned and suggested that I leave sooner rather than later (which means go home now). The nurse said she would phone me once she spoke with the doctor and if nobody phoned me, that meant they weren't coming home until probably Friday.

So patiently I wait.....

Scheduling

I admitted the other day that I don't take to change all that well....here's another thing about me....I like to be organized and have a schedule of exactly what is happening (that's how I successfully help two partners prepare and process over 300 personal tax returns in 5 weeks!).

With that said, I headed to the hospital for 11am this morning so that I could talk to the doctor about springing my babies. A student nurse greeting me and bestowed wonderful words about my boys (aw shucks, thanks). I then questioned when the doctor would be in as I would like to discuss a timeline regarding my boys coming home.

She questioned what the last estimate was....well Nov 3 they told me 4 - 6 weeks, I haven't been told anything since then. Off she went to find the doctor and I proceeded to talk to Gavin and Riley. She returned saying I had missed the doctor but the nurse said that they have to bottle for 48 hours....so I politely cut her off (only because I knew what she was going to say).

I told her that the last time I had spoken with the doctor he said their only hurdle was they had to bottle for 48 hours and since they were gaining weight, that wasn't an issue. I mentioned that some nights the boys are tube fed as they don't seem to have enough nurses and I wanted to ask the doctor if that was taken into account.

She then asked when and if I was going to "room in" with the boys. I would like to stay with them the night before they come home....which is one of the reasons I would like a time line. There is no point in gearing up for it if it isn't until next week. We talked for awhile and she understood, I really have NO IDEA when they are to be sprung and really neither did she.

The nurses did suggest that we return this evening with a car seat for their test. With preemie babies they have what they call a "car seat test". The babies have to sit in the car seat for a predetermined amount of time (travel time home times 2), while attached to the Oximeter (measures heart rate and oxygen levels), with no alarms from the Oximeter.

Basically as preemies the seat doesn't support them as well as if they were full term. In the seat over time, they tend to slump down and their heads flop forward or sideways and they end up having trouble breathing. If they don't slump or have problems breathing...they pass.

Tonight we will return with a car seat and hopefully the boys pass and that will be one less test.......and tomorrow I will try and talk to the doctor.

Snow day

When it started snowing Saturday night, we weren't too concerned. When it continued into Sunday, we got a little concerned. When we woke up this morning, we became very concerned!!

Front yard and driveway

Backyard


Normally, I would enjoy the snow and play in the backyard with Georgie or sit and look out the window. Today I have to make it 25km (each way) to see my boys. I'm currently listening to the news and they are saying more snow is falling!!! Because we don't live in a subdivision and live a bit farther out than most (read - no pizza delivery service), our road doesn't get plowed unless one of the neigbours do it.

I only got my driver's license a few years ago, so I don't have years of experience, let alone driving in the snow. I think I have had to drive in it only two or three times and that was just from the commuter train to home which is all of 5km!!

Yesterday our boys were moved from a private room to a ward room and they now share a room with another baby. That's fine, BUT there is now no bed for us to relax in. The suggestion yesterday was for Glenn to drop me off on his way to the office and then come and get me on his way home, which would leave me at the hospital for 6 hours. Now with no bed and just a rocking chair I don't think my butt could handle it.

My dilemma, do I risk the drive to the hospital, do I just suck it up and spend 6 hours in a chair or do I just wait and go tonight with Glenn?

Well I know that option 2 is o-u-t...OUT, and I'm leaning toward option 1, but there is one LARGE hill near the hospital, which scares the crap outta me!!!! Option 3 is a remote possibility, but then that means I won't have seen my babies for 22 hours!!!

Maybe I can convince Glenn to take a "snow day" and we both can go twice today.

Safe driving everybody!

Moving Day

No, the boys aren't coming home, but I do believe they will be home soon. In preparation of that day, today was moving day in our house.

The original owners of this house......well I'm not sure what to say. They built the house 20 feet wide and 60 feet long, seriously. In addition to having a long skinny house, they put one bedroom upstairs and three down. We could go on, but most of you know our thoughts.

Of the three bedrooms downstairs, one is at one end of the house and two are at the other end. I would like the boys to grow up having their own rooms, since they are available, so we have set them up at one end of the house and our room is at the other (my dear husband doesn't like this arrangement).

We originally set ourselves up in the upstairs bedroom as that is where a bathroom, a kitchen and a living room are. Before I was put on "restrictions" while I was pregnant, I painted the downstairs room, which was my office and the two back bedrooms in preparation for the arrival of the boys.

After visiting our boys today, we came home and Glenn phoned one of his friends to help move furniture. It's great having a C-section as you are not allowed to lift anything heavier than your kids, vacuum or sweep for 6 weeks!!!! I moved the lamps, alarm clocks and bedding, they moved the bed, night stands, a dresser and lets not forget the eliptical trainer ("Are you sure you want this moved UPSTAIRS????").






I still have to move things around in the boys rooms as I had piled everything in one room, but they will have their own rooms. They will reside in one crib in our room to start, then once we are sure they will survive the night outside of the hospital and in our care...they will move to one of the bedrooms. I don't know when I will put them in their own rooms.....that is one thing I haven't scheduled (shocking, I know!). I don't even know who will get which room, one is green and one is yellow.




It will all come together in the end, but they have a bed and we have a bed, what more can you ask for?

Visitors

I don't think anybody is shocked that when you pick up the phone and say, "When are you coming to hold your ________ (nephew, great nephew, cousin or friends baby)?" The winning response is, "As soon as I can!!!"

The rules for the amount of visitors hasn't changed, 2 visitors. Well today we broke the rules (8 of us), and the nurses and doctor alike, ignored the rule infraction. One nurse said, "Oh, you multiplied." The doctor, "Looks like you are having a nice visit." The visitors can now hold the boys......

We took a few pictures of the visitors, here is one:



They weren't allowed to come and meet them in NICU, but they certainly couldn't wait to meet their new cousins. Sam even got to feed Gavin for a short time and she did a GREAT job!



Riley hit 5lbs 1oz at his 3am weigh in this morning and Gavin hit 4lbs 13 oz. When the doctor popped in today I asked him about the weight and what it means in terms of going home. He said with them weight isn't an issue as they are continually gaining, all they have to do is take their bottles at all feeds for 48 hours. They are currently taking 45 ml at each feed, and Riley is being bumped up to 50 ml at his 3pm feed.

So far they haven't been able to finish their bottles at every feed. Sometimes they finish all of it and sometimes only half. Most of the time we can get them to finish every feed, but not always, it all depends on what happened just before they were fed.

Great news, eh? I think so too. Have a great Saturday....it's snowing here!

Moving on up

The boys are 3 weeks old today and made a BIG jump yesterday.

Once I was home from the hospital yesterday I received a call from the NICU.....my heart stopped. After identifying herself, the nurse then informed me that Gavin and Riley were being moved upstairs to Pediatrics!!! Ok, so my heart dropped and then soared all in a matter of 30 seconds.

It seems that the only hurdle the boys have left to overcome is taking a bottle at every feed. They both have their days when they will consume a bottle in a matter of minutes and other days they seem to take their time.

When Glenn and I arrived at the hospital last night we were in heaven. The nurses in NICU are wonderful (I was only talking about ONE nurse yesterday), and they were very helpful, but our kids are now in a private room....with no other babies, no monitors beeping all over the place....it's quiet! The lights are low and you are totally alone with your babies.

We figured out the "new" rules and settled in to feed our kids. Glenn streched out on the bed and I took the rocking chair. It was so wonderful to just have the four of us and NOBODY else. The nurse came in and checked on us periodically, but for the most part, we just held our boys and chatted.

Today I made it to the hospital for the 9am feed and both boys took their whole bottle. Both my Mom and Glenn's mom made it up to the hospital this morning and had a visit. I stuck around for the noon feed as well, Gavin took his whole bottle but Riley petered out during his feed.

I don't know how much longer it will be, but moving up is closer to moving out.
Here is a picture of the boys hanging out in the "big" bed, close to the window. That was their first glimpse at outside and daylight (it had stopped raining by then)!



Happy Friday!

Setting the alarm

I'm pretty much a creature of habit and do not accept change well. Yesterday I showed up at the hospital for Gavin and Riley's noon feed. I arrived at 11:40 and the nurse that was on (never had her before) had already changed Gavin and taken his temp, all that was left to do was feed him.

It seems she bottle fed both of my babies at the 9am feed. This may not seem like too big of a deal, but if they are bottle fed at 9am, they are NOT bottle fed at noon as it takes way too much out of them. She then proceeds to tell me that Gavin only took 10 cc's of a bottle which had 38 cc's in it, but on the good side Riley took his whole bottle. Um, yeah lady, GREAT.

When I leave the hospital, whether it is in the morning or at night, I always inform the nurse what time I will be back. Everytime I go, I get to feed my boys, only exception is bath day. Since yesterday was her first day, she doesn't know my boys, but she will know my schedule as it doesn't really change and is noted in their charts. Noon and 9pm feeds, EVERYDAY!!!

Gavin is slow to start his bottle, then half way through, he has a BIG burp, then just guzzles the rest of his bottle. Most nurses watch Gavin and suggest that he is tired, both Glenn and I politely ignore them and he finishes. When we showed up last night, not surprising, Gavin didn't finish his 3pm feed either. He finished for Glenn though, and usually does for us.

Riley on the other hand, seems to just love the bottle and can't get enough. He finishes almost every time. No problem there!

I usually stay for an hour and a half to two hours during the day. I feed them, then just hold them. Sometimes I chat with the nurses, but yesterday I didn't. I was mad. It's not the same when you hold your baby and feed him through a freakin' tube!!! Gavin was wide awake when I got there and I'm pretty sure he would have taken a bottle, but she really didn't seem open to discussion.

Yippee, today I get her again!!! I get to bath one of the boys and she will bath the other one. When I asked her if we could do it at night so that Glenn could learn with me, well..that didn't go over well. Honestly, in my head I was thinking, sorry for wanting to include Glenn. I think she is bathing one at 9am and I'm bathing the other at noon, hard to say as the discussion was short.

We discussed this issue with the nurse we had last night and she suggested that I change my morning schedule. The boys are on a 3 hour feed schedule and bottling happens at 9am, 3pm, 9pm and 3am. If I were to keep the noon feed schedule, then it would screw up the 9pm feed and Glenn wouldn't get to feed them.

I don't have a problem with getting up for 9am, it's the traffic battle I have a problem with. It's an hour to get to the hospital in rush hour vs. 20 minutes, which would you pick? Sadly my husband had a good point last night (I HATE when that happens), this will only be for another week or two. Also, the nurse said that once they are on bottles for every feed, it won't matter what time I come in. Ok, true.

So today I will stick with noon as that's what we discussed, but tomorrow I will set my alarm and then battle "rush" hour, the end destination/reward is my very cute boys



Have a great day.....I think I see the sun!!!

Husband and father

So most of you know my husband as the guy who loves to have a good time and is always laughing at his own jokes (even if we are rolling our eyes). He can get himself into trouble without even trying and alot of it revolves around the race track. Potato guns, golf carts and just plain old beer.....which causes holes in signage, havoc and sleeping through rounds. But nobody would disagree, he certainly can be the life of the party.

When I met Glenn in March 2000, I never thought I would be where I am today. I am his friend, his wife and now the mother to his two boys. It is a wonderful life. It has taken us 3 years to get here and as most of you know it has been a struggle.

There were days when each of us would have LOVED to strangle the other, but that doesn't mean we didn't love each other. We have had tests throughout out our relationship that have only made us stronger. These last eight months have shown me a different side of Glenn. The overprotective side, "Tom, slow down the boat, you are jiggling her around too much!", "Honey, maybe shouldn't be walking so much.", for example. As much as it sometimes annoyed me, I'd rather he be overprotective than not care at all.

So, as much as he will kill me for this post, I just wanted everyone to know, that there is a new side of Glenn. And for the record, I couldn't have asked for a better partner in all of this and I wouldn't trade him for the world!

More proud grandparents

Grampa


Grama D


I haven't posted much about my boys these last two days as the majority of it is repetitive. Meaning, they are eating, sleeping and getting stronger. All good things. As of last night, Gavin is 4 lbs 6 oz and Riley is 4 lbs 11 oz, they are almost 1 lb more than when they were born (G was 3 lbs 10 oz and R was 3 lbs 13 oz).

I don't want to jinx it so I'm leaving it at that. So...no news is good news.

The proud Gramas

The day they have both been waiting for....to be able to hold both of their grandsons

Grama T - Riley Grama W - Gavin

Grama W with Gavin


Grama T with Gavin

The fight

So I quit smoking back in March, about a week before I got pregnant. I struggled for a month to quit. I would put the patch on and do very well during the week. Then March began and so did working Saturdays.....

I cheated on Saturdays, I would "forget" to put the patch on. I say "forget", because I would have one in my purse. I would get to work and have a cigarette, (from the pack that hung out at the back of one my desk drawers), then I would work for awhile. Nobody knew I was trying to quit, (I didn't want the stares when I broke down), so down I would go on Saturdays and nobody was the wiser.

As most people know, we had a tough time getting pregnant, and in the end had help. So with the end of March drawing near, knowing that we had paid alot of money to get help, it was important to me that I quit. One for the health of the baby (now babies) and two I didn't want to spend a whole bunch of money and have it fail because I was smoking.

So with days to go, I just bucked up and stopped messing around. We got pregnant on the first try. That isn't the end of my struggle. By mid April I had very bad morning sickness, so not smoking was easy. Then my doctor gave me medication for the morning sickness (it was that bad), and the cravings returned.

Now, I love my coffee, so I still drank 2 cups in the morning. That was all I allowed myself and all the books I read said it was ok. Now if you are or have been a smoker and a coffee drinker, you'll know how tough that first cup of coffee was each day. But I cherished it. Slowly the desire to smoke with that coffee diminished but never went away.

The only thing that kept me from smoking again was the fact that we had tried so hard for these babies and now they were finally created. At the beginning it was, I can't smoke because I don't want to miscarry, then it became, I can't smoke because I want them to develop properly. When we found out with twins they tend to come early, it was, I can't smoke because they need to be as big a possible. It was hard, but I succeeded.

Now.....I'm not pregnant. I had told Glenn from the beginning, I will quit while I am pregnant, but I can't make any promises once the babies arrive. Well they are here and they are 16 days old!!! The first week was ok, still too groggy to think about it much, then last week I had an Eggnog Latte from Starbucks. That kicked in my craving.

I still haven't broken down and I'm trying my hardest. You know what goes through my head? What will the nurses think if I show up smelling like smoke? Do I really want my boys smelling the stink in the limited time I have with them? "Mommy sure doesn't smell nice today."

It really isn't about my health as I have never thought about that, and I never cared what anybody thought before...ask my husband, he loves that fact that I don't smoke now (April is 5 years for him), but it seems now I do care what people think.

So I will fight the fight for now. Maybe I will overcome it, maybe I won't. Glenn said once, everybody has to have a bad habit......seems I don't have one anymore. Anyone care to suggest one?

Lunchtime

2 weeks and 1 day old

Riley & Gavin

Both of my boys are over 4 pounds now!!! As of Friday night, Gavin is 4 lbs 1 oz (1850 grams) and Riley is a whopping 4 lbs 5 oz (1975 grams). I got a taste yesterday afternoon of having to do this by myself. I arrived for their noon feeding and the nurse said ok, you need to take their temp, change diapers and feed them. HUH! Both?

Ok, here's the dilemma....if I feed Riley, what about Gavin and vice versa? It takes at least half an hour to feed each one....and isn't one going to be starving??? Ok, calm down, Grama T is coming. So while I was taking Riley's temp and preparing to feed him, my Mom showed up.

(Since they have been moved from the incubator to a crib, Gavin can now also be held by his grandparents, but they can't feed him. Riley gets this luxury once his last IV (for antibiotics) is removed tomorrow.)

Gavin was nice and awake for my Mom and she kept him occupied while I fed Riley. Once I was done with Riley, sadly he had to go back to the crib, but my Mom talked to him while I fed Gavin. They both did fairly well, except Gavin just konked out half way through his feed.

Last night when Glenn and I went, again the nurse (different one), said ok, get them ready for their 9pm feed. Well since I did everything at their noon feed, INCLUDING changing TWO nice poopy diapers, I figured Glenn should change both diapers and get them ready.

So he got Gavin changed, weighed (they only do at night) and then handed him over to me to be fed. Then he moved over to Riley, who with his IV is a touch more difficult. So Glenn took his temp (still a small body regulation problem), then began to change his diaper. Oh look nurse, only a small amount of...."Oh man.....he just pooped!". While Glenn had the diaper off, but still underneath, Riley pooped for his Dad. No gag reflex there, he was laughing too hard.

Gavin fell asleep on me again, and didn't even take half his bottle, but Riley took his whole bottle!!! So back we go this morning to see our boys and maybe have some visitors.

Our journey has begun, with poopy diaper stories, juggling feeding times and just telling you how amazing we think our baby boys are. We could talk to you for hours about our dog, now it will be our boys as well.

Have a great day.

Little people

Gavin


Riley

Graduation day

I'm so happy I could cry. When I arrived at the hospital today, I was greeting by the site of....


Gavin is on the left and Riley is on the right.

Yahoo!!! I was also informed that they both have been moved up in formula. They are now both receiving 30cc's of formula which includes iron and vitamin D and are being fed every three hours instead of two. All good stuff.

I got to bottle feed Gavin last night at his 8pm feeding (before he moved up in formula) and for his very first time on the bottle, he was a champ like his brother. He took 13cc's of the 22. Riley's 8pm feed... well he fell asleep before he could finish, so he was only 5cc's of his 22, but he did well at lunch earlier in the day.

The nurse was going to try both on bottles at their 3pm feed today. At first they will only try and bottle feed them twice a day, so I told the nurse that Glenn and I would be there for the 9pm feeding, so hopefully Glenn gets to experience feeding one of them tonight.

Take everything with a grain of salt, words to try and remember, but today is a good day!!!

Oh what the heck, here is another.

Day 12

Yesterday and today were days of small steps....which I like better than giant leaps.

Gavin came off his IV yesterday, which means he is on "full feeds". He no longer requires the nutrients that the IV provided. It is so nice to not have to worry about the IV when cuddling him. That was Gavin's step.

Riley on the other hand, he took a bottle at his noon feeding today!!! Riley is currently receiving 21cc's of formula at each 2 hour feeding. While trying the bottle today for the first time, he took 15ccs. He ended up falling asleep and it took him a good 15 minutes just for that, but he got it. The rest was given by the feeding tube.

When babies are born before 35 weeks they don't have the co ordination to breathe, suck and swallow all at the same time. Gavin will end up getting his turn, but he is a sleeper and needs to be more awake for the attempt.

Also Riley was moved from his incubator to a cot for a short period of time this morning. It seems he couldn't quite keep his body temperature up, so back into the incubator he went. Babies need to keep their temprature at 36.5 or higher, Riley dropped to 36.3. They also need to weigh more than 1,800 grams, while Gavin isn't there quite yet, the nurses were suggesting that if they were both moved they could keep each other warm. Who knows, maybe we will get a surprise tonight.

So Riley still has his IV and should be off his nutrients tonight, but still has to keep the IV as his antibiotics still have 5 days to go. Gavin still needs to gain some weight, but is at 1,740 grams. So some small positive steps, but so far all in the right direction.

The only downside to my day, as I was putting gas in my truck today, the wind came up and smacked a plastic garbage can into it.....didn't realize plastic was so hard. Another dent......doesn't matter, my boys are getting stronger!

Feels so good

So I did it, I came home from the hospital this afternoon, loaded up Georgie, and drove her down the street.



And she had a great time, we were gone for about 40 mins. I was alot slower than normal and she had to keep looking back, but man did she run.....and run.....and run. So that when I called, she just kept going and jumped on two women, who when I finally approached them, look at me in disgust.





Seems I forgot about November in my town....dead fish on the banks of the river. Honey if you are checking in on me.....you need to come home and wash the dog!

Weight is good?

So the deal is, Gavin and Riley are gaining weight and I'm losing weight. All's good in the world, kind of.

The boys started at 1.655 kg for Gavin and 1.725 kg for Riley. As of last night Gavin hit 1.740 kg which is just over 3lbs 13oz and Riley hit 1.835 kg which is over 4lbs, (they give it to us in grams and I'm trying to convert on the internet).

As for me, we won't give out exact numbers, but I gained 38 lbs over the 32 1/2 weeks that I was pregnant. Yesterday I got on the scale and I had lost 26 of those pounds without trying!!! Yeah for me, 12 to go. I plan on trying to walk most of it off. Well since I have been on restrictions since September, our first baby has been a little neglected....remember her?



Since I had to have a c-section there is absolutely no way I can take her out on a leash as I know I'd pay for that. So patiently I wait, I'm going to cheat.....normally Glenn and I would walk her down to the end of our street to the dyke and then go for a walk.

There are some mean dogs along the way and I don't feel like dealing with that, so maybe today or tomorrow, I'm going to drive to the end of the street. Rain or no rain (there certainly isn't any shine these days) and just let her go!!! Glenn has been walking her around the property every night, but she is leashed, she needs to just go......and so do I.

So no, we haven't forgotten our first baby.....she still is very special to us, but please don't tell her she has gone from Baby A to Baby C.

Glenn asks her everynight if she knows Gavin and Riley.....it's certainly going to be interesting when they come home, but as long as she gets some time everyday, I think she will be ok.

One small step

Glenn and I go to the hospital twice a day. Once in the morning and once at night. During the day last week was him as I was at home recovering, starting this week it's me. I drove for the first time since November 1 when all of this began!

Last night since Riley was on CPAP, Gavin got all the cuddling, for over an hour. Glenn changed Gavin's diaper and I believe will be a pro in no time. I got to change Riley's diaper......I got the luck of the draw, Glenn's diaper change was yellow....mine was not :) I have changed my share of diapers in the past, but you know, when it's your own and they seem so fragile, plus you only have the use of your forearms, it's not easy. I feel like a rookie!

I got a surprise while at the hospital today, Riley was taken back off the (CPAP) (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) this morning, 24 hours after he went on. Last night he looked ALOT better than he did in the morning and today looks even better. Now while I am happy to see this, I think maybe it is a little too soon. So if he goes back on I won't be shocked.

Today while I was visiting the doctor came in and checked both of the boys. Both boys are receiving an IV for nutrients as well as formula. Each 8 to 12 hours their formula intake is increased 1 cc and the nutrients through the IV are decreased. Gavin is now at 17cc's and needs to be at 21cc's to come off the IV. The nurse told me today that without any hiccups, he will be off the IV by tomorrow!!! Riley even with the CPAP has increased to 15cc's, he needs to be at 22cc's. Riley will only come off the IV if the antibiotics are done.


Riley from Friday


Gavin from Friday

It could be two steps forward, but I don't want to get too excited...

The bumps along the way

As we look at our boys each day and watch them become healthier, gain weight and eat more, we become calm and think all is good.

Today that came crashing down. We arrived at the hospital at 11am this morning and began washing up. One of the doctors approached us and said Riley had a bad night. He was back on CPAP for his breathing and that he might have an infection. They were doing blood work and were going to take fluid from his spine.

Glenn had looked over when we first began washing up and said, "Oh, they are working on Riley", now the doctor had suggested that we go back and wait outside as they hadn't taken the spinal yet. We looked at each other, what choice do we have, we don't want to be in the way. So we waited.

The doctor came and explained that at about 5am Riley was having problems breathing. Which they call Apnea and Bronchopulmonary Dysplasia.

Apnea is another common health problem in premature babies. During an apnea spell, a baby stops breathing, the heart rate may decrease, and the skin may turn pale.

Bronchopulmonary Dysplasia (BPD) is a lung reaction to oxygen or a ventilator needed to treat a preemie with a lung infection, severe RDS, or extreme prematurity.

The doctor then suggested that we wait a little longer as they were starting Riley on the antibiotics for the infection.

Finally at 12:30 we got into see them. They were still fussing with Riley, so I started with Gavin. Nice surprise, he was awake and alert, and I spent sometime talking with him. We had picked up Super Dave in our travels, so Glenn and Dave were floating back and forth.

When I finally went to Riley, the tears started......how could my little boy who was so alert and squirmy last night be so pale and still? I kept my hand in his incubator until they had to take more bloodwork. When they were done, I stuck my hand right back in again. I really don't know if when he's sleeping he can tell it's me, I like to think so.

I was soon rewarded with Riley half opening his eyes. It was a struggle, but I'm glad that I was there to talk to him.

A nurse told me the other day that it wouldn't be a straight line up, that there would be good days and bad days, but when you watch them have 3 good days in a row, it's hard to believe there can be pitfalls.

So here is another pitfall, I know our pitfalls are temporary and others have larger obstacles to overcome, but at the time you help but think why me or why my little boy.

I was going to take pictures and post them today, but I think you will understand why you just have to wait one more day.

I think I'm going to go jump in a puddle.....will that make me feel better?

Our first wound

My Dad and Donna were at the hospital on Thursday to visit the boys and brought them some stuffed animals. We got 2 sheep, 2 orangutangs (sp?) and 2 dogs. The orangutangs, because Dad's thinks that's what they will be. So Glenn decided the dogs were great for their incubators. The nurse told us that they have to be washed. So I washed them very nicely Friday morning.

Since I can't drive and Leslie had yet to see the boys, she came to pick me up. As I was getting ready I could hear Georgie playing with something. I can always tell when she has a new toy.....well we hadn't given her one!!!

I ran out of the bathroom to find her chewing on one of the dogs!!!!! I don't think I had ever yelled "BAD DOG" that loud before. Then I cried....ok I know, nobody was hurt, but this dog was for one of the kids from his Grandpa and the first. Over the top? Ok, will you except hormonal new mother?

She had gotten the dogs nose off, but I caught her before she could do more damage. Glenn got the nose back on, and now I have to rewash him. Cross your fingers that he doesn't fall apart on the second wash.

Can you tell which one it is?



So which one gets the damaged dog? Dad can make that decision!

1 week already?

Hard to believe that they are a week old already?



The reality is, they have a few more weeks, but the other reality is....I can put on my own pants without help!!! As they get stronger, so do I.

Everytime we go and see them I'm still amazed that they belong to me. It's hard to only be able to hold them once a day. Last night we got over an hour, which we don't get every night. When I was there during the day, Gavin was throwing a fit because he was hungry, and what can I do? Stick my hand through the opening and TRY to comfort him......breaks your heart. Had that been a week ago, or even Monday, I would have started to cry....but for now this is my reality.

There is no blame for where they are, it's just how it is. I have to understand that too. My doctor and the nurses have told me that I did a GREAT job, but somedays that is hard to believe as I stare at my kids through plexiglass and unable to cuddle them when I want. Everyday gets easier in the "guilt" department, but as I see them get stronger and gain weight (both above birth weight now) and see their feedings increase, I get hopeful that they will be home sooner rather than later.

Gavin


Riley


Well, I'm off to shower, wake Glenn up and head off to see MY SONS, yep, still sounds weird.

See you at the next update!

We are 5 days old
Gavin and Riley

Why not?

I seem to have some time on my hands for now, so I'm going to attempt this blogging thing.

I don't know how well I will keep it up once my boys come home, but while they are in the hospital, you can come here and check up on them. Glenn made the suggestion, since I am keeping a notebook of their progress, I might as well publish it for all of you to see.

I may take a day or two to get all the info up, but keeping checking back to see our progression of the boys and Glenn and I as parents.